Confusion
by Authortastic
Summary: When Morgana has a dream where Merlin saves her life, old memories and feelings resurface. She's determined to kill him, but how can you kill someone you love?
1. Bad dreams

_Morgana finds herself in a difficult position when Merlin, one of her worst enemies, crops up in her dreams, resurfacing old feelings she had long since forbidden... _

**_Chapter One - The dream._**

Morgana tossed in her small bed, her mind corrupted and lost to the world of nightmares.

In her dream, Camelot fought back against her mighty army, killed all of them until it was only her left. She stood in front of Arthur in the throne room, staring at him defiantly as he whirled his mighty sword.

"Don't believe you can defeat me!" She smirked, "I can strike you down easily."

She raised her hand above her face, closing her eyes in concentration. "Hleap on bæc!" She opened her eyes, expecting to see Arthur on the ground, defenceless.

He was still standing there, his face impassive.

"Hleap on bæc!" she repeated, however this time a touch of concern trickling into her tone.

No, no, no... it was happening again... just like the last time she faced up to her brother. Her magic was once again gone, and she was left defenceless. _No. _This could not be happening!

She attempted to run but, as the matter usually is in dreams, her legs felt like they were stuck steadfast in solid rock, unable to move. Arthur moved toward her once more, a sly grin bursting onto his face. _He was happy she was about to die._ Once more she raised her hand above her to cast the stunning spell.

"Hleap on bæc!"

Nothing.

Not even the slightest push.

Every cell in her body fought the urge to scream as her magic deserted her, and Arthur thrust the sword through her body. It hurt so much more than she could have imagined.

"I told you I'd get you sister..." He whispered as she slipped into the darkness. "I warned you playing with magic was a dangerous game... I'm King here, and no sorcerer is going to overthrow me."

Suddenly, Arthur was knocked aside violently by a strong hand. A dark haired boy quickly knelt down beside her, picked her up and propped her against one of the white pillars in the hall. Her scarlet blood stained the stone, seeped onto the floor. Merlin swept the hair from her face and looked deep into her eyes.

"You're not going to die Morgana... - I forbid it."

"M...m...erl..in..." she stuttered, staring into the everlasting expanse of blue that was his eyes. She was fading, slipping.

However, in her dream Merlin breathed the life back into her, healed her wound. _He saved her. _

"Merlin." She breathed, touching his face.

_"I'm right here." _He smiled.

Morgana's eyes snapped open with violent suddenness. What was _that _all about? Why did he save her? Why did her magic desert her? Old memories resurfaced in her mind, back when she was Morgana Gorloise, Ward of Uther Pendragon. Back when everything was so simple, and magic was just a small cloud at the back of her mind. Back when life was full of friends. Back when Merlin was her friend. She'd often be drifting through the castle, feeling bored and annoyed at Uther when she'd see him. Just walking across the courtyard with Arthur, or laughing with Gwen in the servants quarters... or even laughing with her, sharing jokes, sharing secrets, having fun.

Morgana sighed. Fun. Such a stupid word.

"Stupid!" she cursed out loud. To prove she still had magic, she smashed a pot against the wall with her eyes, shattering it into a million pieces.

"Stupid." she muttered to herself again. Her feelings for Merlin were gone. She would _not _let them return. That meant weakness... weakness led to death. She was dark, she was powerful, she was born to be Queen and she would not rest until each one of her old friends was slumped dead at her feet. She would not think about Merlin except how to kill him. Stupidity had led her to love him before. Stupidity... plain and simple. Twisted and cruel love.

"Stupid." she told herself for the last time as she rose from the bed. "Don't even think about him. Ever."


	2. The meeting

**_Chapter 2 - Merlin in the woods_**

"MERLIN!" Yelled Arthur, his voice shattering against the trees in the woods. "Get your lazy backside right here!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Merlin ambled into view, leaning on his hunting baton like a walking stick.

"Where the hell have you been?" The King protested, grabbing the stick off his servant.

"Going after the deer... like you told me to." Merlin rolled his eyes. "Or have you forgotten?"

"Yes, I told you to go after it _half an hour ago._ What have you even been doing?" Arthur pointed his finger directly at Merlin. "Don't tell me you let it get away..."

"It was uh, too fast for me." Merlin smiled sheepishly.

"It's a wounded deer with an arrow in it's leg... it would have fallen to the ground within 50 yards from here."

"Then why don't you go get it yourself?" Merlin yawned. If Arthur knew _just_ how many times he'd saved him... A sudden whack around the head brought him back to the present.

"Ow!" He objected, clutching his head.

"Excuse me?" Arthur imposed incredulously, raising his eyebrows. - Waiting.

"Okay, I'm going your lordship." Merlin backed down, bowing mockingly before his King.

"Good." Arthur smiled smugly, jumping back onto his horse as he did so. "I'll go hunt some more..." And he charged off in the opposite direction, leaving trails of leaves and dust spiralling about the ground.

Merlin wandered through the woods aimlessly, bored and annoyed.

"Do this Merlin, do that Merlin," He was muttering, "Scrub my shoes, clean the floor, chase after deers, send Queen Gwen flowers, why don't you just bow down and _worship _me Merlin?" He banged his baton against a tree, and the wooden sound reverberated through the forest. The birds were silenced, and everything was quiet for a few moments. Merlin closed his eyes a dragged a deep breath into his lungs.  
Suddenly, he became aware of a cracking sound, not too far away. Carefully, he picked his way through the gaggle of twigs strewn on the ground.

"Stupid, stupid..." A voice was muttering. "Don't even think about it..." Merlin's heart froze as he recognised the voice.

She couldn't be 20 feet away from him now, presumably collecting fire wood. He peered round a large tree which leaned over into a small clearing, littered with rocks and bushes. A figure dressed in sombre black was bent over snapping branches to carry in manageable chunks back to her hut. As she once more straightened her back, Merlin caught a glimpse of her pale but beautiful face, framed with raven hair. Twisting guilt and sadness worked away in his chest as he once more remembered the old Morgana in his arms, dying. It was his fault she was this. It was his fault she was evil. And the worst thing of all, even though it was the worst thing he had ever done, poisoning her, he had been glad that he was able to hold her, for those few precious seconds before Morgause took her.

He leaned forward further, trying to hear what she was muttering, however he slipped on a moss covered rock and tumbled into the clearing.

Morgana snapped her head round at the sound of the rustling. A figure fell into view - literally - with black hair, a red top and brown trousers. Her breath held, she moved toward the man groaning and clutching his head on the ground.

"Ow..." He complained, sitting up and looking around. When his gaze landed on her, his eyes widened and be backed off quickly. She was still staring at him, her head spinning, hurting. He was not real. He couldn't be real. How could he be _here? _She raised her hand to cast a spell, to be rid of him forever. Merlin winced and raised his hand too. As if that would stop her spell! Swallowing, she decided to play it cool, smug and not the scared person she felt. She circled him like a vulture choosing the weak spot on a carcass.

"Well Merlin, it's nice of you to _drop by._" she began silkily. Merlin's cheeks reddened. "Lost your way perhaps? Need guidance?"

"Why are you here Morgana?" He questioned, looking back up at her.

She stiffened as he said her name.

"Why shouldn't I be?" She whispered dangerously, letting a grin seep onto her face.

"You're in Camelot territory." He shrugged, gazing intently at her face, his eyes searching hers.

"And thats enough to put me off?" She leaned toward him, making her sly grin spread further.

Merlin stared into her eyes. There was a time when he believed magic wouldn't influence her, and she could still be turned back. There was a time when he could look into her and still see the good inside her. Now... all there was, was emptiness. Cold. Dark. Evil.

Morgana stared into Merlin's eyes. How easy it had been to fall for him when she was younger, to trust him with her most guarded and dangerous secret. He loved her then, she was sure of it, but then her dreams were filled with blood and evil there was Morgause, her half sister. She taught her how to hardness her magic for the 'right' reasons, how to stun and kill and reign it with her feelings. She explained how Uther had killed hundreds of her kind...and then she hated Merlin. She never thought that he could betray her, kill her. Her Merlin. That look in his eyes, filmed over with unshed tears as she clutched at her choking throat. Her heart had broken that day as she lay dying, with sorrow and regret which was nothing like she'd ever felt...

"No, I'm just saying if Arthur catches you he'll kill you." Merlin swallowed, picturing the image of her. - Dead.

"Let him try!" Morgana scoffed, straightening up as he too slowly pushed himself up from the floor.

Merlin faced her, wondering how this was going to end. He didn't think they'd ever spoken this long without trying to kill each other.

"He would have killed you before, if you hadn't run away." He reminded her, his memory flicking back to the day when she lost her powers.  
She took a step toward him, so close he could feel her breath on his cheek.

"I did not run away." She muttered, through gritted teeth. "In case you've forgotten, I defeated Gwen in a sword fight."

"And that was the success of the century!" he laughed hollowly. "She's sitting on the throne of Camelot right now. If anything, your actions to try to kill her made her queen. Arthur realised how much she meant to him."

The seconds ticked by as they stared each other down, both of them daring the other to make a move and attack.

They both made a move... but it wasn't to attack. With a weird force, they were both suddenly kissing, and Merlin remembered her as the way she once was. Morgana didn't take enough time to think about her actions, to remember that this was her enemy, all she was feeling were the feelings she had once felt, the memories she had once cherished, all in that one embrace, that one moment. Everything faded away; the woods, the birds, the sun, the animals. The only thing that remained was the whisper of their lips and the pounding of their hearts. His hands entangled in her hair, and she wrapped her arms around his waste. It was like old times... just like old time.

However just like that, the moment vanished.

Merlin pushed himself away from Morgana, and she - both hurt by the response and annoyed at her kissing him - let her passion fall out into one curse.

"**Hleap on bæc!**" she screamed, and Merlin flew backward. He scrambled up just in time as a ball of tumbling flames threw themselves at him from her hand. She watched him stumble away, he seemed as confused as she felt. She touched her lips where not moments ago his had been pressed.

"Stupid." Was the word that escaped her mouth.


	3. Confrontation

Hey guys, thank you SO much for all the amazing reviews! I have to confess I don't actually know where this story is going, but I'm gunna try and make it good :)

Sorry I haven't updated in a while :/

I DON'T OWN MERLIN OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS *extremely upset about that btw*

enjoy and thank you so much for reading! :) xxx

**_Chapter 3_**

Merlin felt confused, alone. He had truly thought everything he felt for Morgana had passed. Her cruel nature and desire to kill almost everything and everyone had caused a glacier to form over their friendship, ice trickling into their hearts.

He stared sullenly at his reflection in Arthur helmet, wishing himself to be the way he was before he came to Camelot. Back when everything was simpler, and the only woman he really knew was his mother...

"Hey." A voice made him jump, and he swivelled round to see who the intruder of his small bubble of peace was. Gwaine sauntered into the room, tossing an apple in his left hand.

"How's the mighty Arthur's servant doing?" He grinned slyly before setting himself down on the floor next to Merlin, picking up Arthur's sword.

"Been better." Merlin admitted with a sigh, a frown seeping onto his smooth face.

"Wanna tell me about it?" Gwaine began to sharpen Arthur's sword, comparing it with his own.

"Not really." Merlin shrugs truthfully. "But you'll draw it out of me anyway... so there's no point in hiding it."

Gwaine smiles apologetically, as if to say _I'm sorry, but you can never hide anything from me! _

"Well..." Merlin begins shakily. "There's this girl-"

"Atta boy!" Gwaine grins, slapping his friend on the back enthusiastically. He glares at Gwaine. "Oh... right, yeah sorry." He coughs.

"There's this girl," Merlin continues, "And we used to be... y'know..." - He gesticulates wildly with his hands, - "We used to have this _thing, _but then she kinda left Camelot with a bad ending." - He swallowed. - "We saw each other in the woods yesterday, and... all these feelings came rushing back. I don't know what to do anymore... I mean she's quite a bad person. No, she's a _really _bad person, but when I'm with her it's just so... so... so..." He sighs again, at a loss for words.

"Sounds like you got a serious case of the love." Gwaine nods knowingly. "If you value my advice; you'll go find this girl, tell her what you told me and sort this mess out before Arthur notices anything. You don't have time to mess around in life. If a girl likes you... go for it! Who know's when you'll get another girl. - No offence of course." He pats Merlin.

"None taken..."

"So, you gotta talk to her, make up with her! Seriously mate!"

Merlin frowned, he didn't think it would be that simple with Morgana, they had such a _complicated _relationship.

"I gotta go." He mumbled distractedly.

"What... now?" Gwaine groaned, staring around at the mess that was Arthur's room.

"Why not?"

"Well number one, Arthur's room is a tip and I'll get blamed, and number two you're in a really bad state, you're a liability to yourself."

"How? How am I a liability to myself?"

"Well, there was the time last week when you walked into a wall-" Gwaine's voice was cut off by Merlin's protesting.

"And when you tripped and rolled down that hill-" He continued,

"And that time when we were walking in the field and you fell over for no reason."

Merlin frowns, thinking back to the field. He was sure that there had been a perfectly good reason why he fell over...

"Fine. I'm a little clumsy." He admitted.

"A little?" Gwaine laughed sarcastically.

"FINE! A lot. Look, if I'm not back in the morning then you have every right to come looking for me." Merlin finished the conversation before heaving himself off the floor, his mind set on seeing Morgana.

"I'll tell Arthur you're in the tavern then!" Called Gwaine.

"Don't. You. Dare." Merlin shouted threateningly back down in his direction. Gwaine's laughs tumbled down through the corridor for a while, but then...silence. Merlin was alone.

* * *

Morgana threw the sticks harshly onto the fire, wincing as the wound inflicted upon her in battle stretched painfully. She clutched her side, cursing that dragon for not healing her more carefully.

"Merlin." she muttered dangerously to the gathering gloom. He could make her feel more special than anyone in the world could... but he could also destroy her, extinguish her darkness. That could not happen. That _would _not happen.

"If there's a problem, you get rid of the thing that's causing it," she mused out loud. "Which means...oh." She would have to kill him.

"_Swilte, Merlin!" _She whispered, which literally meant '_die Merlin!' _It was time for him to die.

Swallowing, Morgana turned around to pick up her cloak, deciding to go and find him - rather than him find her. She would make it quick, she wanted it over with, no hassles, no struggles.

"Make it quick." She repeated to herself as she stumbled out of the door. The sun rays hit her like daggers, and she screwed her eyes shut against the blinding light. - Being in the shadows had its downsides.

A rat scurried from its hiding place under a pile of rocks. Her quick eyes spotted it, and she narrowed them in concentration.

"Swilte." She grinned, an evil smile on her face. The rat dropped down, dead. It wouldn't make a half bad supper. Rat stew...

_Rat stew..._

She remembered a time when Camelot was starving, Gwen and her needed food. Eventually, she had gone to Arthur and Merlin, to see if they had anything to eat. The only thing they had was _rat stew _Merlin had made.

Shaking her head violently, she cast a spell in her mind, making the carcass on the floor suddenly burn up in a choking plume of smoke. Was everything in the world related to this boy?

Her ears suddenly picked up something - or someone - making their way through the woods, cracking twigs carelessly on the way. She darted forward, hid behind a tree. A flash of red and blue brought a grin onto her face. Of course... who else would it be?

* * *

Merlin wandered around in the forest tiredly. He needed answers, and he needed them now. He needed Morgana. Narrowing his eyes, he searched the trees, his pupils darting between every rock, every tree, every bush.

"Hello Merlin..." A sly voice drawled behind him. Spinning round quickly, he turned to face the black-haired beauty that stood before him.

"Morgana." He nodded, wincing as he saw the coldness in her eyes. How stupid he had been if he'd thought that they could _talk _about what happened...

"How nice of you to drop by..." she smirked, raising her hand, her eyes flashing gold.

Merlin felt an un-fightable force throw him backward violently, and he landed uncomfortably on a half buried tree root.

_Ow! _

"Thanks, I needed that." He winced again, rolling his shoulders.

"Need a little more?" She laughed, and threw him through the air again.

_Crap!_

"And again?" She offered, this time throwing him to the side. Merlin groaned in pain while Morgana threw her head back and laughed. It felt good to be able to throw someone like around like this. It took her mind of her feelings. _No. No feelings. _

She yelled aloud and sent Merlin flying upward into a tree.

"Well done Merlin." He muttered to himself. If he wasn't careful, Morgana was going to kill her. "MORGANA!" He shouted over her laughing. She stopped and stared up at him with those beautiful eyes. _No, BAD Merlin... not beautiful eyes._

"I came here to talk to you, about what happened."

"What HAPPENED was a mistake!" She spat.

"Well, I was just checking." Merlin swallowed. "Y'know with our history and everything, it would probably be a bad idea and ever-"

At that point, the branch that supported him split, and he crashed heavily to the floor.

"Enough talking." Whispered Morgana, raising him off the ground with her magic.

"Hey, if your going to help me up, would you mind doing it a little faster? This kind of hurts." Merlin blabbered, fighting the pain stretching across it neck, back, head.

"That's point." Morgana muttered through gritted teeth. Merlin let out a small yelp as the pain increased. Eventually, Morgana set him down on his feet, although he could barely stand.

"No more..." He almost begged.

"More was that? Yes I'll give you more!" She laughed cruelly, sending a fireball toward him.

"**No. More.**" Merlin stood up, magic coursing through his veins. He yelled the incantation before obliterating the fireball in front of Morgana's eyes.

Disbelief shrouded her vision as she stared at Merlin in utter shock and _fear._

_"You have magic!" _She whispered.


	4. I shouldn't have done that

** So, dun dun duuuuh! Morgana knows Merlin has magic! *Shock* *Horror* Well, reeaad and you'll find out what happens.**

**Please review - it makes me happee :D**

**Enjoy xxxx**

**_Chapter 4 - Confrontation_**

_" You have magic?" _She repeated, but this time with an edge to her voice. Slowly, she backed away staring at a Merlin she'd never once seen before. Power. Rage. Especially the power part.

"Yes. I have magic." Merlin rolled his eyes, there had been so much tension on his shoulders, and finally letting it go was like stepping into the sunshine.

"W...wha..wha..." Morgana stumbled over her words, her brain twisted and confused.

_Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!_

A taunting voice chanted in her head, reverberating all over her skull.

"Ablinn du; forlæt du nu!" she yelled, her eyes narrowed in concentration. Horror crashed down upon her as Merlin carelessly knocked aside the curse with a sweep of his hand.

"Forp fleoge!" She attempted again, this time with more power behind it.

He raised his arms in front of his head, creating a small force-field around him.

_We may have cut it close in a fight before Morgana, _He muttered, _But that was when I was Emrys... I was old. I'm up to my full power here._

"Wow!" Morgana smirked, deciding to play along as a couldn't-care-less witch. "That is one effective counter spell." Furrowing her brown in concentration, she let her mind flick back to every deadly spell Morgause had ever taught her.

"Oferswinge!" the curse flew from her mouth, sparks pointing like arrows toward Merlin. He found this one harder to block, having to actually put some force behind it to send it back to her. She spiralled over a pile of rocks, landing with a sickening thud behind them.

"Oh god... That was a bit _too _effective." Merlin bit his lip before running toward her, kneeling by her side.

"Keep away from me!" She spat at him, scrabbling in the opposite direction. As he stared into her eyes, he realised that he could actually see...fear. Her hand raised upward as she shakily stood.

"You're going to pay." the deadly whisper slipped from her lips like a twisted promise.

Shrugging, Merlin smiled apologetically. "Make me."

Frowning, Morgana lashed out with curse upon curse, fireball upon fireball, lightning bolt after lightning bolt. He blocked them all with sweeps of his hand, murmurs of magic counter spells, or even ducking or leaping aside at one point.

"What are you?" She screamed, falling back down, hysteria bubbling into her tone. "What do you want? Are you going to kill me?"

"No." Merlin shook his head slowly, sadly. "I have no desire to kill you - even though I may have to one day."

Gently, he crouched down next to her, and lifted her head from it's uncomfortable position.

"I am so, so sorry Morgana. For everything."

She stared at him, her anger ebbing away as she remembered what it's like to stare into his blue eyes, to loose herself in them. As if with out thinking, she stroked his cheek and pulled his lips down onto hers.

Surprise, more than anything, echoed through Merlin. _Morgana is kissing you_. He reminded himself. _It's probably important to kiss her back._

Snaking his arms around her, he cradled her against his chest, as if to keep her with him. Finally, when they broke apart, Morgana looked back into his eyes and realised what she'd done. Self consciously, she touched her lips and looked away from his intense gaze.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I definitely shouldn't have done that."

"I don't care." Merlin smiled gently, and reached down again to kiss her. She welcomed him in.

_Maybe I can make her better... Maybe I can make her good again!_

"I should go." He broke apart from her and stood.

"Merlin..." Whispered Morgana, raising her hand towards him. "Don't leave!"

"I will return." He nodded, a frown slipping into his expression. "If you want me to."

"I do hate you." She reminded him. "Absolutely. Never forget that. I will kill you one day."

"Nice to know."

"But... I don't mind you coming back. For a bit. Then I have to get on with... y'know. Hating you." She sighed, sitting up. "A secret though." She warned him, giving him an evil stare. "No-one must know."

"No one." Repeated Merlin softly, before turning away and running in the direction of Camelot.

_What have you done Merlin? You stupid, stupid boy. You've got yourself mixed up with this woman... this twisted, evil woman who wants to kill you. What have you done?_

"MERLIN! MY CHAMBERS ARE AN ABSOLUTE TIP!" The King of Camelot yelled, his throat hurting from the force of it. Merlin ran swiftly down the corridor, bumping into Gwaine on the way.

"Hey, I'm sure his room was more or less tidy when I left it..." Merlin began carefully.

"Yeah, well I may have looked through a thing or two." Gwaine looked up sheepishly.

"You dirty bast-"

"HEY, no need for foul language my man! You are the King of cleanliness... even though I once found you in a bog, but y'know. In general. And anyway, Arthur has a soft spot for you - I'm sure you'll be fine." Gwaine interrupted whatever word was about to escape from Merlin's mouth.

"You're the worst friend ever." He glared at the Knight.

"Don't hurt my feelings you cruel person!" Gwaine cried in mock sadness.

"MERLIN! I CAN HEAR YOU!" Shouted Arthur once more.

"Meh, better get going bog-man... oh and err; tell me about that girl later yeah? Down the tavern with a pint?" He nudged Merlin's shoulders playfully.

"Fine, but I'm not paying!" Shrugged Merlin as he walked off. "Oh, and if you've messed up Arthur's bed you're dead meat!" He added cheerfully.

"Thanks bog-man!"

Causiously, Merlin entered the Kings chambers.

Arthur was waiting the other side of the door, eye brows raised.

"Erm, hi?" He smiled nervously.

"Look. At. My. Room." Glowered Arthur.

"Spring cleaning?" Offered Merlin.

"It's Autumn you idiot."

"Autumn cleaning?"

"This is where I insert the word you made up: _Clot-pole._"

"Sorry sire." Merlin struggled to keep his face straight.

"Good. Now clean." Arthur was enjoying this a bit too much...

Breathing in deeply, Merlin strode forward with hands on hips. His blue gaze fell on Arthurs bed: _completely _ruined and messed up.

"Yup." He groaned. "Gwaine's dead meat!"


	5. Shadow

Thank you sooooo much for the reviews! You guys are amazing! :D :D :D

So. Merlin and Morgana have a secret thingy, Gwaine doesn't know who the girl is. Will Arthur notice Merlin's sudden disappearances? Will he follow him? Dun dun duuuuuuhhh!

Enjoy :) xx

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**The shadow**

"I have to go now." Merlin murmured.

"Okay." Morgana sighed, not moving.

"Er, Morgana?" He looked down at their intertwined hands. "You can let me go now..."

"Sorry."

She sighed and stood up with him, grabbing her knife from the table.

"Get out." She frowned, motioning towards the door. Swallowing, Merlin nodded and opened it, the hinges creaking painfully. "Be careful." She added as an afterthought before he slipped away into the night.

Watching him go with regret, Morgana turned towards her bookshelf containing spells and potion instructions alike.

"This ends now." She promised herself, using her magic to flick through the dusty pages of a book of poisons. _This has gone on long enough. _If she couldn't kill him by magic.. she'd have to kill him the old fashioned way.

Merlin stealthily crept through the forest, watching his back for any sign of intrusion. He had expected Morgana to kill him _days _ago. Even though he loved her and was sure she felt the same way... he could tell that was not what was on her mind at the moment. She was probably thinking - much like him - how the hell the two of them got into this mess. How the hell they hadn't destroyed each other yet. How the hell they hadn't been discovered. How the hell-

"Merlin, my man!" A loud voice exclaimed, and before he knew it; Merlin was lying face down in the dirt, an armoured Gwaine on top of him.

"Hi." He replied weakly, pushing the knight off him.

"Sorry." Gwaine grinned, brushing the mud off his chainmail.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin frowned.

"Patrol." Gwaine raised his eyebrows, as if was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

"Right."

"What are _you _doing here?"

"Erm." Merlin faltered, looking for an excuse.

A slow grin spread out onto his friends face.

"You were with that girl weren't you!"

"No!" Merlin cried, a little too quickly.

"Suuurree." Laughed the knight, standing up. "I believe you..."

"Shut up." Merlin mumbled, red creeping onto his cheeks.

"Yooou, are blushing!" Gasped Gwaine in mock horror, pinching Merlin's cheeks.

"Am not." He stared at the floor, doing anything to avoid his friends gaze.

"Yes you aaree!"

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"ARE."

"NOT."

"SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!" Arthur shouted from behind them. Merlin yelped in suprise, Gwaine snorted, and the King rolled his eyes. "Would you please care to explain to me Merlin what the hell you are doing here?"

"I was err... herb picking. For Giaus." He stuttered.

"Really?"

"Erm, yeah?"

Arthur smirked, obviously enjoying making his servant uncomfortable.

"Well where are they then?"

Merlin glanced down at his decidedly empty hands. _Crap. _

"I... lost them?"

"I see."

"When er, Gwaine knocked me over."

"And they just happened to disappear into thin air?"

Gwaine snorted.

"Yes." Merlin nodded. "I mean, NO..."

Arthur laughed this time. "Once again Merlin, I find myself in the position of using your very own made up word here. _Clotpole." _

"Thanks..."_  
_

* * *

Arthur had noticed how troubled his friend was. He often got shifty when the went into the woods, glancing over his shoulder every once in a while. His visits to the tavern had seemed to be increasing, until one night when Arthur went to check up on him and had found out he'd never even been to the tavern.

Questioning Merlin about it later, he'd just been rewarded with the usual excuse: "I was running errands for Giaus."

As he watched Merlin walk out of the castle alone that night, with no torch and no weapon, he made a decision. He was going to follow him.

It wasn't hard... Merlin made no effort to cover up his tracks. - Where ever he was going. The route took the both of them deep into the forest, where no lights from the castle penetrated the darkness. The only thing that gave Arthur light was the moon glinting off his sword. It was dark. Too dark. Too dark for 'running errands for Giaus.' Merlin was up to something. His suspicions had been true.

Suddenly, the darked haired boy paused, in the middle of a clearing. Arthur stealthily hid himself behind a huge tree trunk, peeping his head around so he could see what his friend was doing. His eyes widened when he saw Morgana, his half sister, slope out of the darkness. He had to hold back the sobs that threatened to errupt in his throat.

But then his sadness turned to anger... they disbelief... then shock as he watch Morgana and Merlin get closer and closer to eachother until... they were kissing.

Arthur shook his head from side to side.

It had to be a spell. A sick, sick spell Morgana had cast on him. It _had _to be.

"Merlin!" He heard his voice shout, as he stepped away from the tree trunk.

The two of them whipped their heads around.

Arthur raised his sword.

What happened next, the King wasn't expecting. He didn't know what he had thought would happen... - but it wasn't this.

Morgana threw herself in front of Merlin - as if protecting him - and hissed,

"Don't you dare touch him."

Anger radiated through him, and Arthur charged forwards, sword pointed.

"Merlin, MOVE!" Shouted Morgana, shoving Merlin out of the way.

"Morgana!" He yelled, as Arthur brought the sword into her chest.

She gasped.

She choked.

She collapsed.


	6. Healing

_**Chapter Six **_

Merlin stared at the place the girl he loved had been...5 seconds ago.

"M...me...rlin.." Morgana murmured, blood trickling from the wound in her chest.

"No, no, no!" He whispered, kneeling down beside her. "You're okay. You're gunna be okay."

"Merlin, what the hell are you doing?" Exclaimed Arthur, yanking his servant on the arm. "C'mon."

"What have you _done?_" Merlin started at him, his eyes fiery.

"Me?" Arthur scoffed. "I could ask you the same! Were you not with Morgana, _betraying_ me?"

Merlin did not answer; he just crouched there, like a dangerous animal ready to pounce...shaking his head, his mouth in at tight line, his face ashen.

"How could you?" He muttered. "How could you?"

"_Merlin! _What is WRONG WITH YOU?" Arthur spluttered

"You have no idea..." The wizard muttered darkly.

"I can only assume Morgana has you under a spell..." The king shook his head before raising an arm to strike his servant upon the head, to knock him out.

Merlin's eyes flashed, and Arthur flew backwards, unaware of what had hit him.

"It's gunna be okay." Merlin turned back to Morgana, stroking her hair and reassuring her, although he wasn't even sure if things would ever be okay, ever, ever again. "Please don't leave me, please, please, please don't leave me."

Gently, he swooped her limp body from the ground, being careful not to jog her too much.

"M-merlin?" A small whisper escaped her white lips.

"Morgana!" He paused, cupping he face with his hand, trying to ignore the dark red scarlet blood, seeping between them.

"It hurts..."

"I know, I know." He soothed, pressing a kiss to her lips gently. "I'm gunna heal you. It's gunna be okay."

Panic flashed through Morgana at these words. How could she possibly ever kill Merlin now? Her feelings were so confused. EVERYTHING was so confusing. She wanted to be with Merlin, more than anything. It was the most powerful emotion she'd ever felt... however, he was bad.

He was like terrible, terrible medicine. They were destined to kill eachother.

And yet, here she was taking swords for him, and he he was saving her life and kissing her.

* * *

Gwaine knew something was wrong when his King was not in his chambers. He knew the situation was critical when Gauis had no clue where Merlin or Arthur was.

"Damn it." He muttered, jogging down the corridor to Percivals room. "Perce?" He called, banging on the door. "I need ya!"

"What?" He grumbled, opening the door slowly. "What do you want?"

"The King and Merlin are missing." Gwaine murmured in a low voice, careful so no prying people could hear.

"That's bad." Percivals eyes widened, and he grabbed his sword from the side of the door. "So let's go find them. Right now."

Grabbing onto his friends arm, he pulled Gwaine through the castle to the stables.

"C'mon. Think." He turned towards Gwaine, as they rode through the moonlit castle gate. "Do you know where they could have gone?"

"I know as much as you do..." He sighed, biting his lip. "I'm thinking the forest though? Earlier today, Merlin was a little... shifty in the forest. Arthur looked like he wanted to question him about it, but the little devil rushed off before Arthur had a chance."

"So..." Percival prompted.

"So," He continued, "I'm thinking Merlin went back there, and maybe Arthur followed him?"

"How did you get _that?__" _Percival glanced at his fellow knight in astonishement.

"Well," Gwaine admitted, "It could have been the tracks in the mud over there..."

With a gloved hand he pointed toward the said tracks, kicking his horse to face in that direction.

* * *

Even though his arms ached from carrying her for too long, he continued through the dull ache, his mind only set on one thing.

Morgana.

She was in pain. She needed him. He was going to be there for her.

Eventually, his feet made it to her small cave, nestled in among the tree's. Kicking the door open, he used his magic to clear a space on her bed before laying her reverently down onto the covers.

" Ic the bebode thaet thu abifiast nu!"His hand hovered over her, channeling the forces from inside him into her. Eyes glowing like two fires, he used up his strength in an attempt to heal her.

"Come on, come please..." He begged, bowing his head down. When she didn't arouse, he let a small tear slip from his eye.

"Merlin?" A faint voice whispered, and he snapped his head up.

He gasped and stared at her, hardly daring to breathe, to hope, to pray.

"Morgana?" He whispered, clutching at her hand desperately. "Are you there?"

Her eyelids fluttered, as if they were too heavy for her to lift.

"Come on, can you just lift your eyes for me sweetheart?" He stroked his thumb along her hand, encouraging her to awaken. "Just for me, come on…"

"Merlin." She murmured again, her eyes opening quickly before falling closed again.

"It's okay, it's okay." He soothed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Dragging in a huge breath, she lifted her eyelids once more, this time keeping them open.

"Hey." She smiled as Merlin came into her eyesight.

"Hi." He bit his lip, a concerned expression all over his face.

"What's wrong?" She frowned, reaching a hand up to caress his cheek.

"I thought you were going to _die._" His voice broke on the last word, his speech heavy with emotion.

"Well I didn't." She told him, giving him a small smile.

"Are you in any pain?" He demanded, sweeping his gaze over her.

"No…" she winced.

"Liar." He held her hand. "Where does it hurt?"

"I'm fine…" she protested.

"Please," he begged, "I can't stand the thought of you in pain."

"Where Arthur stabbed me." She admitted, her voice dropped to a low murmur.

Merlin breathed in, gathering his strength before placing his hand over her wound, which was now oozing blood.

"Don't waste your effort..." she mumbled, but it was too late.

Staggering backwards, panting, he checked Morgana over once more, satisfied that she was now sitting up.

"I have to go find Arthur." He announced, a frown settling onto his face.

"Merlin, no."

"I have to! He almost killed you!"

"And he'll kill you too if he see's you."

"I don't care. I need to explain things to him... sort everything out."

And with that, he turned on heel and walked from the room.

* * *

Arthur's head felt like someone was constantly battering it with a hammer, and his memory was all fuzzy.

Slowly, he sat up and looked around curiously, wondering how on earth he'd come to be in this place.

"Arthur!" A familiar voice yelled at him, and he felt a person crash down next to him. "Arthur, are you okay?" Gwaine demanded, helping the King to sit up.

"Oh, I'm just great..." He grumbled sarcastically, scratching his head.

"What the hell happened?"

"I erm..." Arthur frowned, trying to recall the events of the last few hours, "I actually have no idea."

"Oh wait, here's Merlin, he'll tell us."

Merlin scrambled through the denseness of the forest trees, rushing towards the scene in front of him.

"Merlin my man!" Called Gwaine, "Any idea what happened here?"

_Think. Think. Think._

"Erm, Arthur was knocked out by some bandits... but I er, I chased them off."

"YOU chased them off did you say?" Percival spoke for the first time.

"Yeah, me." Merlin nodded, trying not to look his friends in the eye.

"Never saw that one coming." Muttered Arthur, wincing and standing up. "I should be find in a few hours. Let's head back to Camelot, I'll have Giaus check me over."

Merlin bowed his head in agreement, his heart pounding.

_Arthur didn't remember!_

_But for how long?_


	7. Surprise visit

**Chapter 7**

The moon crept silently over the crest of the hill, peering down on the world in the dark. A dark figure crossed the field in the view of Camelot, anxiously checking for guards and Knights. Her dark black hair fluttered in the breeze, concealing her identity to the rest of the world.

She tried to keep a calm and collected exterior, but her feelings betrayed her as the excitement of seeing Merlin again built up inside of her.

She hadn't seen him since that fateful day in the woods... when he'd used up most of his strength to heal her, to bring her back to life.

Her heart couldn't handle the thought of anything bad happening between them now, it was almost as if there was a physical bond between them, as well as the emotional one.

As a group of Knights passed over the bridge to Camelot, she crept into the shadows, choosing a different path into the castle. Always keeping an eye out for the enemy, Morgana entered the castle through the secret passageway she had used to smuggle Mordred out of, oh so many years ago.

Her brain struggled to remember every secret path in the castle, so she took the risk of walking straight down the corridor.

"Hey, you!" A knight shouted behind her, and she heard the sound of his sword being drawn from a sheath.

Quickly, she flicked a hand behind her, knowing that the man would now be flying into the wall into unconciousness.

Hoping to have no more disturbances, Morgana pulled her hood up around her face, so people would recognise her less. She continued on her way, all the while remaining alert.

Eventually, she stopped outside of Giaus' chambers, where no sound could be heard from inside. Silently, she used magic to unlock the door and creep in.

Quite snoring from Giaus sounded from his bed, and Morgana narrowed her eyes at him, hating every cell in his body.

Her eyes turned towards the door that was between her and Merlin. Biting her lip, she carried on through the chamber, climbing the stairs as quietly as she could.

"Merlin..." she whispered, once she was at his door.

No reply.

Carefully, she slid the bolt from the lock, entering his small room and closing the door behind her.

"Merlin..." she murmured once more, crossing the room to his bedside.

Slowly, one of Merlin's eyes opened, rapidly followed by the other.

"Morgana!" He exclaimed quietly, sitting upright. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you of course." She gave him a warm smile, and he put his arms around her, hugging her tight to his chest.

"You shouldn't be here..." He muttered, rocking her slightly.

"I hadn't heard from you in such a long time." She sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I wanted to see if you were alright."

He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I'm fine I guess. - I just wish we were on the same side, that's all."

"You could come away with me?" She suggested, her eyes shinning. "There would be no Arthur to bother us, no rules to obey!"

He shook his head slowly, "I have to protect Arthur."

"From what?" She scoffed.

"From people like you!" Merlin took her hand. "You hate Arthur, you _should _hate me..."

"So?" She frowned.

"It's not just you, others want to kill him too. I have to save him from the evil of this world."

Morgana placed a hand on his arm, "But Merlin," She gazed into his eyes, "He has no idea it's you. If he _did _know then he'd kill you! You'll never get the appreciation you deserve!"

He swallowed, his face adopting a sad expression. "I have to live in the hope that one day, magic will be allowed once more."

She didn't understand him at all. He claimed to love her, and yet he was talking about destroying her allies? His own kind? How could someone be this confusing?

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered, putting his face close to hers.

"I'm thinking," She paused, her lips brushing against his, "That you don't make sense to me."

"I know." He agreed, closing his eyes. "I don't make sense to me either."

"Then choose a side..."

He sighed a little.

"You're asking me to do the impossible Morgana. I love you and I could never harm you, yet I have my destiny to think about, the fate of the kingdom, the people!"

She pulled her face away quickly, suddenly deep in thought.

What was it that had been said to her?

_"He is your destiny, and he is your doom."_

"Destiny. Doom." She echoed out loud.

"Sorry?" Merlin frowned in confusion.

"You're my destiny." She nodded, locking eyes with him, "But you're my doom. You're my downfall."

"I don't understand!"

"I... You're my... my _doom. _I have to kill you then, don't I?"

"Morgana." Merlin cautioned, giving her a wary look, "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know!" She cried, burying her face in her hands. "I just don't know anymore!"

"I don't know either!" He took her hands away from her face, brushing away the few tears that ran down her cheeks, "What's going on? What are you saying? You want to kill me?"

"No!" She replied sharply, clinging onto his arm.

"Then what?"

"I was told, you'd be my doom! But you're also be my destiny. Does that mean I'm destined to be with you? Or you're destined to kill me?"

"I prefer the first one." He ran his fingers through her hair, "The second one just sounds impossible."

"Yes, yes it does." She agreed, giving him a weak smile.

She leaned in at the same time as Merlin, and their lips met in the middle, Merlin's hands still in her hair.

"How long can you stay here for?" He murmured, when they broke apart, breathing heavily.

"Till the morning..." She whispered.

He smiled, lying down on to the bed.

She drew herself to him, closing her eyes peacefully, feeling safe once more.


	8. So many questions

**Chapter 8 - So many questions**

Merlin was certain that he was holding hands with nothing more than an angel. Morgana's tainted reputation made her sound like a heartless villian, un-capable of ever loving again... This however was not the case.

It had never been his plan to fall in love with her.

It had never been his plan to vow to protect her.

It had never been his plan to shy away from his destiny... But yet he couldn't abandon her.

"Where are we going?" He suddenly inquired, his heart picking up pace as she turned to face him, her cheeks flushed from the cold. He reached up a hand and brushed the cool skin, and she shivered, closing her eyes and smiling.

When he brought his hand away, she opened her eyes once more. "I needed to talk to you away from everything..." She paused carefully here, "About us."

"Us?" Merlin echoed, not quite understanding.

"Well," She bit her lip, "I wanted to know if we could be together."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, "But we are together, I thought that's what we said..." He took a step towards her, and her breath caught in her throat slightly.

"I know." She murmured, "But could we still be together if I asked you to leave Camelot?"

He swallowed, his heart picking up pace once more. "I don't know." He admitted.

She nodded slightly, before reaching up and pressing her lips gently to his. Merlin broke away though, placing a hand on her arm.

"You're not seriously asking me to choose are you?"

"Not yet." She shook her head slowly, "But a time may come when I have to ask you to choose, and I need to know what your desision would be."

He sucked in a sharp breath, contemplating his thoughts.

"I can't." He closed his eyes. "I can't give you that answer now. I-I'm sorry."

She stroked his cheek with her hand. "It's okay." However he could hear the strain in her voice, and he knew that it really wasn't okay.

He couldn't choose though.

Camelot or his love?

Arthur or Morgana?

His best friend or his... what was she to him?

"We need to be careful." She announced suddenly, and his eyes flickered open.

"I know." He nodded, "We're supposed to be enemies."

"No-one can ever know about us, or they would kill us."

"I won't even tell Giaus. I promise." Merlin vowed.

"Thank you." She whispered, entwining their fingers.

"The darkness to my light... the hatred to my love..." He muttered to himself, repeating the words that the Great Dragon had once spoken about her.

"What was that?" She questioned.

"Nothing. Just talking to myself." He reassured her, and she nodded, standing up taller so she could press her forehead against his.

They stood like this for a few moments, in the middle of the slowly lightening forest, their minds in the same place, their hands holding eachothers.

"I have to go..." He sighed eventually, staring into her eyes.

She sniffed, "I know you do."

"I'll be back." He murmured, brushing their lips together for the breifest of moments before parting.

"I know you will..." She whispered as he turned away, once more retracing his steps back to Camelot, where his normal life was waiting.

Arthur stared at the knight in confusion. "What are you trying to say Gwaine?" He frowned, inspecting his sword at the same time.

"I'm saying that Merlin's not right... there's something different about him. He's so... so... so..." Gwaine seemed at a loss for words.

"So?" The King prompted.

"_Distant._" Gwaine concluded, slumping down on one of the 6 chairs in Arthurs chambers. "I wish I knew what was going on in that funny little brain of his, but I don't."

"That's because he doesn't _have _a brain." Arthur corrected, chuckling to himself.

"Hey, that's not fair. He's much braver than we give him all credit for, we'd just never admit it."

"Na. No brains suits him better."

Both men chuckled, their thoughts drifting to the ridiculously stupid and clumsy servant. After a few moments of silence, Arthur spoke up once more.

"So why did you come and tell me this?"

"Because I was wondering whether you knew the cause of it." Gwaine sighed, resting his head in his hands.

"No..." Shrugged Arthur, not seeming particuarly bothered. "I think we should just leave him to it. He's always been a bit, _reserved._"

"I suppose you're right." Gwaine shrugged, biting his lip.

"Of course I am." He placed his sword back down onto the table before reaching towards a rolled up scroll of parchment. "Here, I need you to take this to King Gedrith, on the otherside of the Forest."

"Okay. I need to go on patrol anyway so I'll just take the route through the forest. I should be back by dusk at least."

"Very good. Stay safe."

"Me?" Gwaine scoffed, "I'm Sir Gwaine!"

"Which is exactly why I told you to stay safe." Arthur responded dryly, slowly getting up from his seat at the table.

The Knight sighed in frustration, and pocketed the parchment.

"If you see Merlin on the way out, tell him to get his lazy backside here. - He's been neglecting his duties."

"Yes sire."

Gwaine exited the chambers, wondering where on earth Merlin could be. - It wasn't like him to shy away from his work, he'd always been so hard-wearing. He was one of the bravest men he knew, although he'd never admit it to anyone.

Merlin jogged back into the castle as fast as he could, his pace had quickened at the thought of an angry King Arthur.

As he passed the bridge between the villages and the castle, his shoulder bumped into a muscular knight, leading a brown horse out of Camelot.

"Merlin!" The knight exclaimed, and he looked up quickly into the face of Gwaine.

"Gwaine!" He smiled, equally suprised.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Er.." He swallowed nervously, "Herb collecting?"

"Don't give me that rubbish." Gwaine rolled his eyes in frustration. "Just tell me where you were!"

"I wish I could." Merlin murmured, his eyes focused intently on the stone ground, "But I can't. Maybe one day... but not now."

"You make no sense my friend."

"I know."

"Ha. I'll take your word for it."

"Have a nice patrol Gwaine." Merlin rolled his eyes.

"See you round bog-man."

"Hey!" He protested, "That was one time!"

"But it still happened." Gwaine reminded him cheekily, before leading his horse over the bridge and away from Merlin.

"It did happen." He sighed to himself, remembering that the reason he'd ended up in that bog... was Morgana.

She'd put that snake in him.

She'd made him want to kill Arthur.

Where had that evil Morgana gone?

Was the darkness still within her?

Would she want to kill Arthur again?

Could Merlin give his trust to her completely?

So many questions.

So little answers.

**wow. I updated. what is this world coming to? hehe :) hope you liked it! I love you guys sooo much for being so patient with me :')**

**I know this chapter seriously sucks, but major stuff happens in the next one! prepare! :D xxxxx**


	9. I remember

Chapter 9 - I remember.

Arthur's eyes snapped open with violent suddenness.

His heart was racing, and his head was pounding. He couldn't have just forgotten that... could he?

The image of Merlin and Morgana was burned in his mind, and the image of Merlin using _magic _was also engraved there too. How had he forgotten?

He sat bolt upright in bed, his mind constantly replaying the scenes he'd witnessed.

_"Merlin, what the hell are you doing?" Exclaimed Arthur, yanking his servant on the arm. "C'mon."_

_"What have you done?" Merlin started at him, his eyes fiery._

_"Me?" Arthur scoffed. "I could ask you the same! Were you not with Morgana, betraying me?"_

_Merlin did not answer; he just crouched there, like a dangerous animal ready to pounce...shaking his head, his mouth in at tight line, his face ashen._

_"How could you?" He muttered. "How could you?"_

_"Merlin! What is WRONG WITH YOU?" Arthur spluttered_

_"You have no idea..." The wizard muttered darkly._

_"I can only assume Morgana has you under a spell..." The king shook his head before raising an arm to strike his servant upon the head, to knock him out._

_Merlin's eyes flashed, and Arthur flew backwards, unaware of what had hit him._

Again and again and again. Merlin's flashing eyes scared him.

Magic.

It... it couldn't be. It just COULDN'T be. Arthur knew that lazy servant almost as well as he knew himself. Although he'd never admit it, he _trusted _Merlin more than anyone. Merlin was... in all honesty... his best friend.

So how could he have missed this vital, vital fact?

He felt he didn't know anything anymore... that his whole world was crooked.

The thought that his best friend was a sorcerer was so ridiculous, that he might as well assume that Gwen had magic too! - And why not throw Gwaine in there as well?

What did this mean? Would he have to hunt Merlin? Kill him? Pretend like nothing had happened?

Just as his thoughts were becoming darker and darker, a familiar bright-eyed boy strolled into the room, holding a tray laden with breakfast.

He stopped dead when he saw Arthur sitting up in bed.

"You're.. awake?!" He gasped in astonishment. "What is this world coming too?"

Merlin waited for the sarcastic reply, the witty comment, or the evil glare. Instead, he just got sad, empty eyes.

"Arthur? What's wrong?" He questioned, immediately wary.

"You... lied." Arthur swallowed. "You.. thought I wouldn't remember. But I do."

"Remember what sire?"

"Your... your..." He struggled to say it. "Your... _magic."_

Merlin's heart pace quickened, and his eyes widened in panic.

"You've BETRAYED me!" Arthur's voice rose, and he shot up from the bed. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?"

"I... I... I..."

"Did you HONESTLY think I wouldn't remember?! Do you have ANYTHING to say?!"

"Arthur... I don't know... I just..."

"I don't even know what to THINK right now!" The King was blinded by his confusion and fury, and lashed out at his friend, drawing his sword from the sheath next to his bed. "You hid this from me!"

"Arthur please just let me.."

"Your kind KILLED my Father! AND MY MOTHER!" He exploded, "AND YOU WOULD PRETEND TO FIGHT THEM ALONGSIDE ME?! I should KILL you for what you've done..."

"You would _kill _me?" Merlin gasped, no longer feeling safe.

"I could." Arthur murmured grimly, his hand gripping the handle of his sword.

"Would you though?" His voice wavered.

"It depends how many innocent people you've slaughtered, how many times you've helped Morgana in her plans, how many times you've betrayed me! When I _trusted _you!"

"I'm sorry!" He protested. "If you'd just let me explain-"

"How can you stand to be near me each day, desperately _wanting _me dead?"

"I don't want you dead Arthur, far from it!" Merlin yelled.

"Do not speak to me that way!"

"Well if you weren't being such an ass right now in stopping me from explaining, then you'd see WHY I'm getting so frustrated at you!"

At this comment, Arthur waved his sword threateningly, and Merlin backed away; horror filling his eyes.

_He really would kill me? _Dark visions clouded his thoughts.

The servant had no clue what to do, except run.

He dropped the tray he was holding, and it landed with a violent crash on the floor.

He backed out of the room, his eyes never leaving Arthur's until he suddenly sprinted, racing down the corridor and pushing past Gwaine on the way.

"Merlin?!" Gwaine called after him. "What the hell are you doing?"

"MERLIN!" He heard Arthur's yell from down the corridor, but that only carried his feet faster.

He ignored the knights call, and carried on running feverishly as if the devil itself was stalking him. The only place he could think to go, the only place he felt _safe _to go, was Morgana's hut.

His feet smacked against the cold stone of the courtyard, drawing attention to others around him. They stared as he flew past, pushing others out of the way in his frantic race to get to the stables before Arthur stopped him.

He raced into the horses chambers, grabbing the nearest horse to him and clambouring up onto her back.

"What are you doing?" Exclaimed the stable manager.

"Er, King's orders!" Merlin blurted out, before kicking the horse into action and galloping towards the draw-bridge.

Much to his annoyance and concern, he was stopped again before he'd even crossed the drawbridge.

"Where are ye goin' son?" The guard asked, his expression completely bored.

"MERLIN!" He heard Arthur's shout, and whipped his head round to see that Arthur was now sprinting across the courtyard with Gwaine, also causing people to turn and stare at them.

"I'm sorry I don't have time to explain!" He muttered to the guard, before barging past on his horse; desperate to escape.

"STOP HIM!"

Yells sounded from behind him, but he didn't look back.

He couldn't look back.

He could only look forward and hope that he wouldn't be followed there.

* * *

Morgana sat by her fire keeping warm, alone.

She felt torn between her love for Merlin and her hatred for Arthur.

Could she possibly choose? Or could she keep both?

She'd been thinking about this all day, and the only solution she could possibly think of, was to persuade Merlin to fight at her side, to bring magic back to Camelot where it deserved to be.

She was drawn from her thoughts as a rapid knocking at her door and a frantic voice quickened the pace of her heart.

"Morgana! Are you in there?!" Merlin's voice echoed through the wood, and it frightened her to realize that he sounded... scared.

"Yes I'm here!" She stumbled over to the door and un-locked it. "Merlin!" She gasped once she had seen his disheveled appearance. "Are you alright?"

"No." He sighed, rushing into her hut.

"What is it?"

"Arthur. He knows. I think he wants to kill me." He breathed out heavily, resting his head against the closed door.

Her heart hardened at the thought of someone trying to harm Merlin. "That's it." She muttered, as she stroked a comforting hand across his back.

"What's it?" He questioned, looking up to meet her gaze.

"I'm going to invade Camelot. And I hope you'll stand with me."

**Guys I'm back! Honestly, I don't know what's happened the past few months, but I've been so busy with other stuff I guess I just forgot :/ Well not anymore! I'll be updating more regularly now and I'm SO excited for where this story is going! :D xxxx**


	10. With a little persuasion

**With a little persuasion **

"What's it?" He questioned, looking up to meet her gaze.

"I'm going to invade Camelot. And I hope you'll stand with me."

Merlin opened his mouth to refuse, but shut it quickly. Should he refuse?

"I need your help." She rubbed his arm comfortingly, "Together we could be _unstoppable."_

"But I don't want to be unstoppable..." He frowned, leaning into her touch. "I just want to be myself. I want Arthur to accept me for who I am."

"You and I both know that day will never come." She muttered darkly, "It will never come unless we _force _it to come."

He rubbed a hand across his eyes tiredly, his brain aching with the thought of hurting those who meant the most to him. "But I don't want to hurt anyone..." He whispered, so quiet Morgana barely caught the words.

"Merlin... please." She put her face closer to his, and he shivered as he felt her breath on his lips.

"What if Arthur just wanted to talk, and I ran away?" He suggested, a hint of hopefulness in his voice. "Maybe he didn't mean to wave that sword at me..."

"Listen to yourself." Morgana put a hand under Merlin's chin, forcing his eyes to fall on hers. "You're really suggesting that Arthur threatening you with a sword was friendly?"

"It could have been..." He mumbled.

"Merlin I implore you to see the truth." She begged. "Arthur is just like his father! He hates us and everyone like us! As of today... you've joined the side of the sorcerers, whether you like it or not."

"But I don't want to kill any of my friends!" He snapped. "They've always looked out for me, and I for them. We have a bond, and I can't just leave Giaus by himself!"

"Do I not mean anything to you?" She cupped his face. "When I was still in Camelot, we were so close, and you meant so much to me. So very much."

"But then you threw it all away by plotting to kill me, Arthur and Gwen for two years." He retorted, taking all his anger out on her.

"Never you Merlin. Never you. I only needed you out of the way so that I could kill the ones who didn't _deserve_ to be on the throne." She spat, bitterness entering her tone. "But you could change that! You and I - we could bring magic back to Camelot! No-one would ever have to hide any more and we could be together."

Merlin had to admit that the thought was tempting. Never having to hide his gifts... never having to be alone... getting the credit he deserved for saving the Kings life so many times... But at what price?

"But for Camelot to be free," He dropped his voice down to a whisper, "Arthur would have to die."

"Yes!" She smiled, "He would." She took his hand and squeezed it gently. "And YOU could help me!"

He snatched his hand away from hers quickly. "But I don't want to help you kill Arthur!" He almost sobbed.

Morgana pondered her options while Merlin sat there gloomily, staring at her wall.

Either she could keep slowly persuading him, until he eventually agreed. _But how long would that take?_

Or she could put him under a spell. _But how long would that last?_

Biting her lip, she played with her fingers while trying to come up with a solution to this.

The silence in her hut was almost deafening, and she could practically feel the tension between the two of them. She so desperately wanted him to join her side, but she knew that he wouldn't go without a fight. Somehow she had to persuade him. _Somehow._

Suddenly, she turned toward him, turning his face towards her. She crashed her lips down onto his, wanting him to feel how badly she wanted this... how much she needed him on her side.

For a few brief moments, he allowed her to kiss him fully. Giving her access before she even had to beg for it, and letting her run her hand up his arm. However too soon, he pulled away with a faint smile on his face.

"I know what you're trying to do."

"What?" She questioned, slightly breathless.

"You're trying to persuade me..." He chuckled, "And it's not working."

She leaned in closer to him again, ghosting her lips over his. "Are you sure about that?" She whispered, and his breath caught in his throat at her proximity.

"Yes." He managed to force out, keeping a calm composure.

She smirked and pressed her lips to his again, relishing in the taste.

"Morgana.." He gently pushed her away, "No."

"But, what if I'm just trying to kiss you?" She questioned, tilting her head.

"You and I both know that's not your intention." He sighed, talking her hands and placing back to her sides.

She swallowed and stared at the floor, her cheeks turning a little pink. "So.. can I kiss you?"

He rolled his eyes, "Of course you can. - Just, not when you're trying to get me to kill my King."

"But he's NOT your King any more!" She snapped her head up so she could look him in the eyes.

He pressed his lips together, not sure what to say to that. He didn't know what Arthur was to him any more. Was he still his King? Did he still serve him? Arthur definitely didn't trust Merlin... if he returned to Camelot alone and unprotected then he'd be slaughtered.

"You're right." He replied softly.

"I'm sorry?" Morgana asked in disbelief.

"You're right." He shrugged. "Arthur is not my King any more."

Morgana waited with baited breath to see what his decision was.

"I need more time." He groaned, placing his head in his hands. "I don't know anything! I really don't! I thought I was Arthur's FRIEND!"

She placed a soothing hand over his shoulder. "As did I. But obviously we were wrong. Arthur cares for no-one but himself. We've learnt that the hard way."

"But, he was always so caring towards me."

"It's all an act Merlin." She rested her chin on his shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry that you feel this way."

His tear misted eyes met hers, "How do I know everything _your _saying isn't all an act?"

"Because you can trust me." She told him confidently, "You can trust me with all your heart, and I won't let you down."

"How do I know that?!" He muttered.

"You saved my life. You cared for me. And, I love you. I always have!"

Merlin thought back to their time together in Camelot. He certainly used to believe that they both had feelings for each-other, but when Morgana's mind grew twisted and evil in the power of Morgause, he felt her love grow dim, and be replaced by hatred.

"Have you?" He bit his lip un-certainly.

"Yeah." She swallowed, brushing a hand across his cheek.

He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I love you too." He murmured, once they'd both relaxed into each-other.

She smiled as he tilted her chin up so their lips met in a kiss, filled with passion.

Her hand wound around his shoulders, reeling him closer to her. He didn't object, and wound his fingers in her raven hair, threading the strands between them.

Their lips moved in sync, as if they were made to fit each-other. He allowed her access when she asked for it once more, and they fought for dominance, both too lazy to really try.

Merlin's heart was beating faster with every passing second, and his fingers were starting to shake with the amount of emotion that he felt in his heart.

He was well and truly under Morgana's spell... But for once there was no magic involved.

**Heeyy guyss! :D Hope you liked the chapterrrrr! WOOOOOOO! Sorry I felt like adding that in :P**

**So I made a NEW Morgana video on my YouTube channel!**

**Here's the link if you wanna watch it:**

watch?v=ZhPygJReqXE

**See you soon! x**


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